Negative Core Belief – Change Your Lens

Through childhood we all form beliefs about life that can shape our life long journeys. The question is what lens and perspective will you hold ?

Core Beliefs That You Currently Hold and Need To Correct Immediately.

Worrying

• Imaging the worst case scenario
• Fantasies of disaster or catastrophe
• Danger of embarrassment
• What if’s and/or But

—Core Beliefs

-What others think of me is important

-If I take risks to get better, I’m afraid I will fail

-If I take risks to get better, I’m afraid I will succeed

-It’s not possible to be alone

Criticizing

• Constantly judging and evaluating
• Pointing out flaws and limitations: put downs
• Jumping on mistakes: “You’re a failure”
• Comparing with others: negative labels “stupid/idiot”
• “What a disappointment/disgrace you are” “That was stupid!”

—Core Beliefs

-I have to achieve or produce something significant in order to feel OK about myself

-Success is everything

-My accomplishments at work/school are extremely important

-To fail is terrible

-My self-worth isn’t a given, it has to be earned

Identifying as a Victim

• Feels helpless or hopeless
• Tells you that you are not making progress: condition incurable: road too long or too steep
• Depressive thoughts and feelings
• Perceive insurmountable obstacles
• Nothing will change
• “I can’t…” I will never be able to…..” “It’s too late now”

—Core Beliefs

-Often I feel like the victim of outside circumstances

-There is something fundamentally wrong with me

-I am too old to change

-Life is very difficult – Life is a struggle

-Often I feel a sense of defeat or resignation: “Why bother?”

Perfectionism

• Close to or resembles critic
• Push and guide for betterment no matter of performance/creation
• Tells you your efforts aren’t good enough
• Use of “shoulds” is common in regards to self and others
• Hard driving
• Intolerant of mistakes
• Self-worth dependent on externals: achievements, money, status, love, acceptance, pleasing others
• Pushes to stress, exhaustion, burnout
• “I should….” ” I have to…” “I should always be considerate and nice/ selfless” “I should be in control/ on top of things”

—Core Beliefs

-I must be perfect to be acceptable

-I should be the perfect son, wife, mother, employee, friend, etc

-I should be able to endure any hardship

-I should never be tired or fatigued

STOP NOW!

Questions to ask yourself 

1. What is the evidence of this belief?
2. Is it always true or applicable in life?
3. Does this belief I carry promote well-being?
4. Did I develop this from childhood or am I choosing to hold this belief myself?
5. Does this belief cover a true and whole picture of life?
6. What am I benefitting from holding on to this negative perspective?