Through childhood we all form beliefs about life that can shape our life long journeys. The question is what lens and perspective will you hold ?
Core Beliefs That You Currently Hold and Need To Correct Immediately.
- Imaging the worst case scenario
- Fantasies of disaster or catastrophe
- Danger of embarrassment
- What if’s and/or But
-What others think of me is important
-If I take risks to get better, I’m afraid I will fail
-If I take risks to get better, I’m afraid I will succeed
-It’s not possible to be alone
- Constantly judging and evaluating
- Pointing out flaws and limitations: put downs
- Jumping on mistakes: “You’re a failure”
- Comparing with others: negative labels “stupid/idiot”
- “What a disappointment/disgrace you are” “That was stupid!”
-I have to achieve or produce something significant in order to feel OK about myself
-Success is everything
-My accomplishments at work/school are extremely important
-To fail is terrible
-My self-worth isn’t a given, it has to be earned
Identifying as a Victim
- Feels helpless or hopeless
- Tells you that you are not making progress: condition incurable: road too long or too steep
- Depressive thoughts and feelings
- Perceive insurmountable obstacles
- Nothing will change
- “I can’t…” I will never be able to…..” “It’s too late now”
-Often I feel like the victim of outside circumstances
-There is something fundamentally wrong with me
-I am too old to change
-Life is very difficult – Life is a struggle
-Often I feel a sense of defeat or resignation: “Why bother?”
- Close to or resembles critic
- Push and guide for betterment no matter of performance/creation
- Tells you your efforts aren’t good enough
- Use of “shoulds” is common in regards to self and others
- Hard driving
- Intolerant of mistakes
- Self-worth dependent on externals: achievements, money, status, love, acceptance, pleasing others
- Pushes to stress, exhaustion, burnout
- “I should….” ” I have to…” “I should always be considerate and nice/ selfless” “I should be in control/ on top of things”
-I must be perfect to be acceptable
-I should be the perfect son, wife, mother, employee, friend, etc
-I should be able to endure any hardship
-I should never be tired or fatigued
Questions to ask yourself
- What is the evidence of this belief?
- Is it always true or applicable in life?
- Does this belief I carry promote well-being?
- Did I develop this from childhood or am I choosing to hold this belief myself?
- Does this belief cover a true and whole picture of life?
- What am I benefitting from holding on to this negative perspective?