For most of you out there you are stuck between the life you hate and the life you dream to have. You push forward each day with hopeful intention, thinking that you will get that lucky break you deserve sooner or later, but nothing changes.
You are a hard worker, you are very pleasant and your boss is thrilled with most of the work you contribute to the team, and yet you aren’t happy. Cycling between frustration, and depressive thinking you feel like you have been spinning your wheels for weeks, months, or years and you are just about the explode!
You look through craigslist and other online job posting boards and might even connect with a head hunter to find that perfect fit, but nothing gels! Filled with disappointment you discourage easily not really making any steps closer to your end result and cowardly make you way back to the paycheque and face the pain of your stagnant office!
You Feel Alive Yet? I doubt it, me either!
For years most of us get in this mode of breaking down and wanting change but never make the leap of faith. We get too scared that we won’t be able to sustain our life, pay our bills or connect with the same friend network if we chase after our dream and say goodbye to status-quo.
Here is the problem with all of those thoughts, none of them really matter and you are going to be okay either way, so why not be okay while feeling more alive and excited about life? The paycheque you are living off of won’t impress anyone and rarely covers your bills that you one day hope to incur. Most of the bills you have accumulated revolve around your appearance, expensive transportation or socializing at nice restaurants. And, the peer that you really want to attract has yet to manifest, so you maintain the ‘friendships’ that you already have full well knowing you that they don’t have your best interest at heart. The compassion filled friends are out there, and I know plenty of them (so can you). Connect and establish new bonds with people that share the same goals as you. These high calibre friends (that are out there) will stimulate you when you are down and out and hold your hand with you till you get to the finish line, because they feel reward in seeing you succeed!
Question Your Motives!
What motivates you to make connections in life, via, job, friend, health, love, finances? Are you working for a large company so that the name will excite future employers when the next interview arises, proving to people your high worth and intelligence? Are you buying those expensive jeans because they fit so uniquely different than the no-name brand, or because it is fashionable this season and you will gain some ego-centric reward from your peers in recognition for the $300 investment into trendy cotton? The peer group notion is by far the most interesting. Friends influence your potential success far more than we want to look at. So, investing into friendship that are based under the concept of win-win. You offer and support the friend, and the friend offers the same benefits. You will find the connection is much more vulnerable and honest. You will feel that much more capable of expressing your thoughts and having them validated back with compassion and guidance!
We can’t do it alone! We want to believe that we hold some unique force inside that can conquer mountains, and yes, it is true the inspiration does need to come from within, but a support system will get you there faster! I don’t know one successful person in any field, in any location around the world, at any time in history who wasn’t supported by a vastly talented team that held a similar vision. This synergy of the minds is what is needed to create enough gusto to pass the competition, naysayers, and self-doubt that brews so feverishly some times.
When we connect with a bunch of people that are orientated with themselves, we miss the mark (everyone fails). We start playing by their rules and, de-value our own worth and perspective on things. It really is a no-brainer why you don’t feel like you have the edge or ability to go after what you really want in life.
Ask Yourself – What are your friendships doing to you?
Do you connect with people because of status? Do you connect with a peer group because you think it is a good business decision? Do you hang out with the same group because you simply always have, and feel like you would be all alone if you severed the ties? Or, potentially you gain some self-worth from this peer group, they are a trendy bunch and hold that social substance that you want to be viewed as having as well. These selfish motives fuel fires that burn with such little resolve.
Now we can all have a moment to reflect over some of the bad decisions we have made in the past; it hurts a little, I know! Enough worrying though; time to get back to your vision and goals!
For you to approach your dream job with any seriousness you need some vital sustaining energy. This motivation cannot be rooted in being better than people, but rather creating a solution for many to gain from the experience. The plan you are setting out on needs to have some seriously earthly content. So once again, what are your motives?
Make a list of 12 reasons why you will succeed! Not Tomorrow! Not Tonight! Not after lunch, or after a phone call with your bestie! RIGHT NOT! Once you have made this refined list, review it as frequently as possible (at least 3 times a day)! This will now be your internal fuel. You will slowly detach from the need to be externally validated from others because you have outlined the winning criteria yourself. Well Done! =)
This is your life, so get serious about defining your motives for success immediately!