Nightlife Is For Narcissism

Wednesday comes to an end and you begin to see the light of the weekend approaching near.

You start texting your closest pals in attempts to brew excitement for a night filled with fist pumps and high fives! The local club scene is calling your name, and it is always a sure thing on Friday and Saturday night. The perfect place where booze and arrogance collide in bad judgement.

Having mastered the art of crowd sourcing for a night of boozing, your friends reply with the same sincere acceptance to the challenge. This evening will undoubtedly be filled with disappointment and a loss of disposable income, per usual, and yet this weekend you hope will unfold differently.

Friday rolls around before you know it. With only two hours remaining in your work day you begin to visualize the night to come. Planning out the perfect wardrobe to wow the ladies with. You’ve invested a significant amount of time at the gym these days, in hopes of sculpting your arms to that perfect swole that nestles tightly inside the fabric of your V-neck shirts. The scenesters will love to marvel with jealousy at your muscular physique. a judgement you have passed on others for years in envy will soon be your own identity.

With full intension of refining your social skills before the club you head to your favourite lounge where the girls serve you over priced doubles in exchange for a low cut top and a beautiful smile. Being a sucker for love and incredibly desperate for validation and attention from pretty girls, it will be the first stop of the night. You make no mistake about it, exchanging smiles and glances with the waitresses and bar tenders who have grown to know you well over the last couple of years. A predictive rhythm of socializing each week that you have grown to unapologetically love.

Feeling the pressure to be viewed as socially acceptable, or ‘winning’ in the game of life, you fashion your new expensive watch. It sits perched high on your wrist as a reminder to others that your value to the world might be a tad bit higher than theirs. This purchase may, or may not have been made with the motivation to impress others, instead of the appreciation for design and swiss time.

Leaving your favourite watering hole on a high, you feel a certain momentum building after your cute server hugs you with admiration your well endowed wallet. This proven of course through an excessive tip made to reward her service and tight fitting dress.

You approach the nightclub in a confident swagger as you view the long line to get it. What’s this? A line? Oh, that is no trouble for a stand up gentlemen like yourself, now is it?

Your favorite bartender is working tonight, yet having no real established relationship outside of the night club you greet him with the most familial  high five and smile. The rest of the patrons would surely presume you were long-time pals by the excitement of the interaction. Meanwhile you know that deep inside that you don’t really care about this dude and he was just happy to see you again because last week you tipped him %30 on your tab, and he was hoping to receive  that same reward tonight, so he plays his part.

You have now set the wheels in motion, establishing yourself as a “cool guy” with a strong social standing. After a few rounds of the premium shooters it’s time to check out the rest of the club; A reconnaissance mission to place judgment, and to size up the attractive females in the crowd. Knowing that the majority of the time you end up striking out at the end of the night, you maintain that strong heir about you and move forward with the hunt.

Two hours pass and you are still left empty- handed. Doubt really starts to enter your self talk now.

Feeling threatened, your pride filled smile fades into a scornful look of dissatisfaction, anger flows through your veins in contempt. The combination of whiskey, tequila, and the lack of female validation has brought forward some serious insecurity issues that you had desperately tried to repress through massive alcohol consumption.

Did that guy just look at you with an aggressive glance? Challenging  your stature as an elite Alpha male? Does this mean it’s “go-time” with captain spiky hair? No. Giving  that lowlife any attention is beneath you. You brush it off and smile at a cute girl walking past you,  assuming that he was just threatened by your good looks and respect from the staff. Nonetheless your internal tension continues to rise and the exciting state of affairs begins to reveals itself in a depressive darkness. The people around you that you once viewed as jealous fans, now have become threats to your status and well-being. How dare they think they are better than you?

With only a few minutes remaining before the club has to shutdown, you close your bar tab in a drunken haze and realize that those last few shots we completely unnecessary. The bartender smiles very graciously at you, knowing that have made another small accounting error on your credit card receipt in his favour. Now empty-handed, and a large chunk of your monthly disposable income eaten up, you make your way to that one important last stop. What else could be a silver lining to that failure of a night.

You guessed it, Mcdonalds, your favourite hot dog, or pizza stand. Knowing that tomorrow will come all too soon and that tequila sunrise will be waiting patiently upon your awakening. You pound back 1000-1500 empty calories and flag down the nearest cab, calling it a night.