Fear…This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. -Big Book p.67
There are few things you will do in your recovery process that will be as emotionally charging, and freeing as a fifth step. If you have reached to the darkest depths within yourself, uncovering the poisonous events of your past, the clarity and catharsis that you will soon experience might just change the entire trajectory of your life.
This may very well be the first time you have ever been honest with someone, and I mean rigorously honest. This step is all about new beginnings, so your uneasy feelings are absolutely normal. This revealing of self will get easier and easier the more you work with the rawness of vulnerability and transparency.
You tremble as the words fall from your lips, your troubled conflicted heart seemingly about to explode out of your cheat as your palms sweat profusely.
Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. – Big Book p.72-73
You don’t quite understand how exposing these dark traumatic scars of the past could possibly provide you with anything but dis-ease and pain, let alone freedom. But you promised yourself that this time you had enough, and were willing to try something new no matter the cost. The bondage of emotional pain has to be released, because you can’t really see yourself holding on much longer. In a last ditch effort, “maybe this awful soul saving technique might just work after all,” you say to yourself. Take solace my friend, they couldn’t all be exaggerating the importance of this vital step. I assure you, they aren’t. Go forth with courage and prepare your mind for a new high that alcohol would never be able to propel you to.
Remember it was agreed at the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol. – Big Book p.76