Why is it that doubt operates with such force in our lives?
Do you wish the scars you have from broken trust would just vanish?
Does that bitter taste of betrayal linger in the back of your mind, leaving you suspicion and judgement?
And, most importantly…….are you ready to move on?
An immediate question most people pose when it comes to trust issues is, “do you trust yourself?”. This questions sometimes spoken in a subtle accusatory manner that we all find frustrating. Regardless of the validity of the question, our knee-jerk reaction is usually “how dare they even question my integrity”, said to ourselves.
If you can honestly say that self trust is not the issue at hand, then what is the driving force behind the feelings of distrust? How can some people connect with the world with an open heart and mind, and others to operate with their emotional walls held so brilliantly in place?
Scratching your head for answers now, aren’t you? Maybe you might even hold the same belief as the picture below. If so, how is that working in your life so far?
If you have asserted with conviction that you are a very trustworthy person and hold no issues with self-trust, then you really need to start letting go of the past.
Your high and mighty self-importance might be causing you more burden than benefit here , because there is not one person that has walked this earth who hasn’t lied in some fashion. We all fall short and make mistakes. There is no need to raise your brow in defence, because you too have mislead your fellow man, a reality we will all have to swallow.
If there is one truth in life, it is the fact that people will let you down at some point in time, not if, but when. When we are given information to be trusted with it activates an internal itch we need to scratch only by releasing the information to someone else. This emotional release takes place and we feel more at ease knowing that we are now not the only people now burdened with the sensitive information (can you now relate to this guilt itch?).
“Yes but, the secret wasn’t that big of a deal in the first place”, you might then say to yourself in hopes of covering up the guilt that lingers within. Don’t worry even the most holy of us have committed this small sin once or twice in our lives. You are forgiven. The important lesson here is to keep your eyes on the solution, not your mistake. We move forward in our journey, progressing towards, not away from our goal of self improvement.
Solutions To Focus On
1 – I Don’t Want Your Secrets
Be proactive and state that you have no interest in hearing about a secret from anyone. Most people are blown away by this concept. This really leaves people in disbelief. It has become common thread to assume that everyone loves juicy gossip, and when you reject their desire to share it with you they feel lost for words. What a relief! You don’t need to play a part in the transfer of personal information.
2 - Re-frame Your Past Experiences
Trust that when challenges come into your life, especially of the interpersonal communication variety, there is a reason they are showing up. This is a great opportunity to apply detachment the scenario created in your head and move forward. The ego will try to hold on, “how dare that person did this to you” but you can chose to operate in love and forgiveness, leaving you with little resistance. You then step back in the flow of life, giving thanks for the experience. When you drive over speed bumps you don’t stop, put it in reverse, and continue to drive back over it again and again, you move forward down the road.
3 – Trust The Universe
Realign your focus when it comes to trust. People rarely attempt to cause you harm or disappointment. In any given week you will cross paths with several people. On any given week, how many of these interactions result in your having your trust broken? Chances are they are few and far between. So stop choosing to operate in apprehension against the world. The few negative experiences don’t need to change your total outlook on life. Suspicion and paranoia can now take a back seat to joy and attraction. The vulnerabilities that you hold so closely aren’t so unique after all. You would be amazed at how similar we all are when it comes to our insecurities. The balance sheet of life is always working in your favour. It is okay to be hurt once in a while. The trade off for few days of pain here and there is a life filled with engaged interaction and connection, something we all yearn for!
Remember one thing……………………. Just one!
The only relationship that you can really count on in life is the one you hold with yourself. So, if you want to start building a solid foundation of trust in your life, start with yourself =)
For those of you who would love to take a Trust Test, click here.