We enage with reaction because we ironically think we will gain some form of relief from the expression. Subconsciously we equate our explosive reactions with a pressure relief value that will bring peace and a sense of victory. A lot of the times we do earn some form of temporary relief, but it is always followed by some backlash and outfall. So for instance, if you have some form of addiction and then you act on that impulse to “use”, you will be rewarded with a minuscule feeling of short-lived solace, but then the wreckage from that decision is usually exponentially worse. The same goes with conflict, regardless if it is verbal or physical. We bring ourselves to a place where we chose to engage: we punch that person, we put someone in their place with a tongue lashing. We then internally justify our righteousness, but then have to deal with the lingering resentment continues to build into a mental congestion that unplugs you from the flow of life. Just like the old adage of throwing hot coals, the person who reacts and engages in hopes of earning some form of relief is always burned from picking up the coals to throw in the first place. The smoldering piece of coal may strike and maim your latest victim, but you were the one who was initially burned by picking up the hot coal to begin with.