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Only Quality People – 6 Tips For Healthy Friendships

Think for a second or two about the people you consistently spend most of your free time with. We all have a certain social group we connect with regularly, but do we really understand the impact of these relationships in our lives?

Ask Yourself

“What are these relationships doing to me?”

For years I would always connect with the same faces each week and then justify to myself the reasons I didn’t really venture out of my social cirle, even though I knew deep inside the friendships were forced and not healthy:

  • I have been friends with them since elementary school
  • I work with them
  • They are a cousin, uncle, etc!
  • I played on the same basketball team with them for many years
  • We are members of the same networking group
  • I need this relationship for potential career advancements
  • They are always hanging out with a close friend of mine
  • ,,, I don’t really know why I hang out with these people, maybe I’m just bored !

For years we have invested so much time and energy into relationships that really serve no purpose in our lives, we keep participating in these friendships with the wrong motives like “looking cool”, or to fit in with a specific group. It is scary to tell yourself that you might need to say bye-bye to old friends and take responsibility for the impact of these connections that you had been working with for years. No body wants to rock the boat and point fingers, singling out people from their lives, but it needs to be done. This healthy life-choice shakes up the norm, and might leave you with room to fill with quality people instead!

It is a weird dichotomy, the concept of “friendship”  holds certain characteristics like, compassion, loyalty, communication, support, guidance, altruism, encouragement, and yet most of the relationships I use to take part in lacked this kind of nourishment.

We all stand on guard of our real feelings and uphold friendships because we want to be considered a part of, but really we are not connecting with one another except in the physical realm. It’s the notion that “we are there, but not really there”. We are present in the physical body, connecting with each other through activities or social play but we are missing the juice when it comes to real friendship! Vulnerability is one of the easiest ways to make a real connection, and a great basis to start a friendship on, but usually our stoic masks remained fastened and we rarely take part in this real manner of living.

 “This really hits close to home, but where do I start?”

Tell Yourself “OQP – Only Quality People”

  1. Be aware of how certain relationships make you feel. If they haven’t been working, let go and move on.
  2. Select people that bring positive vibes into your life. These people just seem to have that life-force and twinkle in their eye that you may not understand. Their zest for life is contagious. Just make the connection and you will understand shortly.
  3. Connect and maintain friendships that are mutually beneficial. You want to maintain relationships that allow for support and compassion for both parties involved.
  4. Invest time with peers who want the best for you, and you trust their intensions. Question your motives for the friendship. We are surrounded with Grade-A manipulators, monitor what kind of results the relationship bringing forth.
  5. Associate with individuals who hold a similar moral compass as yourself. Healthy people do not put into question the rights or well being of others. They focus on love and empowerment!
  6. Contribute to social groups that focus on development and stride towards goals. So often we can get stuck in life and our self-critic gets the best of us. It is during these down times that you will grow to depend on the inspirational energy of your quality friends, trusting that they gain from your success!

Remember the idea that “birds of a feather, flock together.” You become a product of your environment whether you want to believe it or not! Take some responsibility for your life and let go of unhealthy connections. You will be amazed at how much more you get out of life when you start to set the bar higher and invest in quality people. You are worth it!

 

Think it might be time to let go of some of your old friends ?

 

Only Quality People

Only Quality People

 

 

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7 Responses to Only Quality People – 6 Tips For Healthy Friendships

  1. Don July 9, 2013 at 4:06 am #

    There was a point in my life where I had to evaluate some of my friends. It was hard to stop being friends with them because we had fun together, but there was no substance to our relationship. I wanted to grow and move forward with my life. Hanging out with him was holding me back.

    • growthguided July 9, 2013 at 9:03 am #

      I think that is a valid point!

      We can’t change people (although we’d love to), but we can take responsibility for our side of things !

    • growthguided February 6, 2014 at 10:20 am #

      I’m glad you come to this stark realization. Many of us don’t ever reach that clarity.

  2. Jordan J. Caron July 10, 2013 at 9:50 am #

    Kael,

    Great
    post! A couple of years back I did this. I took a long hard look at who I was
    surrounding myself with. My roommates at the time were guys I knew through golf
    and had known for years. I was trying to get a business up and running so I
    spent most of my time in my room. But whenever I would come out, they’d be on
    the couch playing Call of Duty and smoking weed.

    It
    took that and reading Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich for me to finally
    clue in that I needed to cut ties with a lot of people in my life. Instead of
    having 20 acquaintances, I wanted five close friends that shared the same views
    and outlook in life along with a motivation for success and growth. Getting
    older means that a lot of relationships tend to fall by the wayside anyway.
    People work different hours, live in different areas and change as people.

    For the reasons above I’m now at the rossroad. I’ve cut down on the people I interact with. It’s all about finding a few (not many) solid people who are willing to push themselves.

    • growthguided July 10, 2013 at 11:37 am #

      I think it is a fine line though!
      Just because we have been burned in the past does not mean we don’t continually seek new connections with people. You never know who is around the corner and how they could impact your life for the better!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. You Might Be Off Track - Ask Yourself These 3 Questions | Growth Guided - October 18, 2013

    […] Relationships need to be mutually beneficial. How many times have you dropped everything for a friend to help save the day and then a few months later you start going through problems with work, at home, or in your relationship and they are no where to be seen? Yes of course we are all to give without expectation, but set your boundaries with people you feel take advantage of your kindness. Personal boundaries with time is absolutely essential for successful people, respecting and validating your own sense of worth. Most people will take a mile when you give them an inch unfortunately, acting in a place of entitlement. Avoid these social leeches and solidify your relationships that have been established on the foundation of reciprocation, they will always be the most rewarding and enduring. (Read 6 Tips For Healthy Relationships) […]

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