Think for a second or two about the people you consistently spend most of your free time with. We all have a certain social group we connect with regularly, but do we really understand the impact of these relationships in our lives?
“What are these relationships doing to me?”
For years I would always connect with the same faces each week and then justify to myself the reasons I didn’t really venture out of my social cirle, even though I knew deep inside the friendships were forced and not healthy:
- I have been friends with them since elementary school
- I work with them
- They are a cousin, uncle, etc!
- I played on the same basketball team with them for many years
- We are members of the same networking group
- I need this relationship for potential career advancements
- They are always hanging out with a close friend of mine
- ,,, I don’t really know why I hang out with these people, maybe I’m just bored !
For years we have invested so much time and energy into relationships that really serve no purpose in our lives, we keep participating in these friendships with the wrong motives like “looking cool”, or to fit in with a specific group. It is scary to tell yourself that you might need to say bye-bye to old friends and take responsibility for the impact of these connections that you had been working with for years. No body wants to rock the boat and point fingers, singling out people from their lives, but it needs to be done. This healthy life-choice shakes up the norm, and might leave you with room to fill with quality people instead!
It is a weird dichotomy, the concept of “friendship” holds certain characteristics like, compassion, loyalty, communication, support, guidance, altruism, encouragement, and yet most of the relationships I use to take part in lacked this kind of nourishment.
We all stand on guard of our real feelings and uphold friendships because we want to be considered a part of, but really we are not connecting with one another except in the physical realm. It’s the notion that “we are there, but not really there”. We are present in the physical body, connecting with each other through activities or social play but we are missing the juice when it comes to real friendship! Vulnerability is one of the easiest ways to make a real connection, and a great basis to start a friendship on, but usually our stoic masks remained fastened and we rarely take part in this real manner of living.
”This really hits close to home, but where do I start?”
Tell Yourself “OQP – Only Quality People”
- Be aware of how certain relationships make you feel. If they haven’t been working, let go and move on.
- Select people that bring positive vibes into your life. These people just seem to have that life-force and twinkle in their eye that you may not understand. Their zest for life is contagious. Just make the connection and you will understand shortly.
- Connect and maintain friendships that are mutually beneficial. You want to maintain relationships that allow for support and compassion for both parties involved.
- Invest time with peers who want the best for you, and you trust their intensions. Question your motives for the friendship. We are surrounded with Grade-A manipulators, monitor what kind of results the relationship bringing forth.
- Associate with individuals who hold a similar moral compass as yourself. Healthy people do not put into question the rights or well being of others. They focus on love and empowerment!
- Contribute to social groups that focus on development and stride towards goals. So often we can get stuck in life and our self-critic gets the best of us. It is during these down times that you will grow to depend on the inspirational energy of your quality friends, trusting that they gain from your success!
Remember the idea that “birds of a feather, flock together.” You become a product of your environment whether you want to believe it or not! Take some responsibility for your life and let go of unhealthy connections. You will be amazed at how much more you get out of life when you start to set the bar higher and invest in quality people. You are worth it!
Think it might be time to let go of some of your old friends ?